End Gad
End Gad
please read my story.. and tell me how you would feel!!!!?
i am a 26 yo woman, wife, and mother. i have alot of things wrong with me i have the following:
bipolar
psychotic episodes
social phobia (have trouble leaving my house even for the kids)
ptsd-post traumatic stress disorder
gad-generalized anxiaty disorder
panic disorder with agraphobia
borderline personality disorder
body dysmorphic disorder
manic episodes
rapid cycles
i have lived with these for a while now and have been on meds since i was 15 yo now i just feel like im at my wits end with it all but i have a family and i would feel bad if i left them behind but all i seem to think about lately is going back to cutting or ending my life i just feel i cant take it anymore. i also have an addiction to pain pills and laxatives. is there anyone out there that may be able to relate or give me some advice on this subject. i feel my family is suffering because of my diseases. i also just started going through treatment for hepititis c from a blood transfusion. makes you very ill.
Hey, I know how you might be feeling. I have been diagnosed with bpd, gad, and major depression and I have had alot of problems with eating disorders and cutting and feeling suicidal in the past and Im 23 and have 2 children and am married too. Im also a alcoholic. I havent drank for 2 months now. Ive finally quit. I think you have to stop the pain pills first off because any drugs is gonna alter your moods and you will have worse highs and lows. Especially if you are bi-polar. I know it sucks to feel like your messing up their lives and if you go to get help you still feel like your messing stuff up worse but in the long run its the best thing you can do for your family. Your family will be happier when you our happier and healthier. I know its hard when you have kids to get help and you dont wanna give up the pills cause if you try and get help you'll be held accountable to quit and I used to take pills and loved them cause they keep you in a fog and kinda happier but when you dont have them you get more depressed. You need to do whatever it takes to get better. You need to be strong and know your worth it. I used to want to end it because I thought staying alive was worse for my kids cause of how awful I thought I was but more than anything you deserve to get better and your children deserve that.We our strong people . People may think we our weak because we our considered ill but usually it is because we were mistreated somehow as children or something. Especially with personality disorders like bpd. Its scary to face getting help and sticking to it but if you could deal with all the pain your living in now you can make it and get better. Don't give up.
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The End Of The Road
